You can not possibly imagine how bad I smell today

I used to love garlic, but I think that all changed this morning when I woke up leaking concentrated garlic extract from every pore of my body.

Yesterday while relaxing with a beer, I enjoyed a snack best described as “corn-nut garlic”. Cloves of garlic deep fried and turned into big puffy crunchy snacks, very much like hyper-seasoned corn nuts. They were strong, of course, but no more than a good garlic potato chip or other well-seasoned snacks.

I didn't have too many of them, though -- maybe a third of a 120-gram bag (a total of about an ounce or so). But this morning, I awoke with a general unease. I just didn't feel right, and my head hurt.

Oh, and I reeked of garlic. Garlic was coming out of my hair. Ears. Nose. Garlic was coming from my eyeballs. And oh, yes, it was on my breath. I actually couldn't smell it myself, but I could feel it oozing from me. I'll spare you the details, but it's suffice to say that my bathroom experience for the whole day was new and, uh, tumultuous.

Today was a busy day -- I had a lot of errands to do (catching up on some shopping, I finally bought a TV and DVD-Recorder TiVo type thing for Fumie, and a small scooter for myself) and I was keenly aware that anyone getting within 50 yards of me would want to gag. I held my breath a lot, in the hopes of sparing those closest.

I came home this evening, a good 20 hours after eating them, thinking that perhaps I was mostly over it, but Fumie said that I was still extremely, uh, “strong”. Putting Anthony down to bed later, I asked him if I was still stinky. “Yeah” was his understated answer. I asked if he liked a stinky Daddy, and he just shook his head. Indeed.

Relaxing now in my office, I realize that I can still feel it oozing from my pores. And yes, my eyes. My eyes are still oozing garlic.

I found the image above via Y! Japan image search, associated with someone's blog post, where the guy mentions that he tried them. He goes on to say “The bag I found had only 1/3rd the amount in the package you see, and so that's all I ate, but in the morning I was obviously a human “dangerous weapon”. It's recommend to not be careless and come too close.

The remains of the mostly-full bag are going into the trash, as will I if this doesn't clear up by tomorrow morning.


All 3 comments so far, oldest first...

I once had a similar experience.

During an early foray into cooking, I didn’t know the difference between a “clove” of garlic and a “head” thereof.

I put two heads of garlic into my stir-fry. That was a lot of mincing.

— comment by Joe Grossberg on May 7th, 2006 at 12:50pm JST (11 years, 7 months ago) comment permalink

In fairness to the snack vendor, that is a rather evil-looking character on the front of the bag. Perhaps it’s meant to serve as a warning to those who eat the snack?

— comment by Sam on May 8th, 2006 at 5:59pm JST (11 years, 7 months ago) comment permalink

Actually, now that you mention it, Sam, it looks like he’s flexing the arm on the right. The package is saying “this garlic is strong” I should have paid attention.

— comment by Jeffrey Friedl on May 8th, 2006 at 9:24pm JST (11 years, 7 months ago) comment permalink
Leave a comment...


All comments are invisible to others until Jeffrey approves them.

Please mention what part of the world you're writing from, if you don't mind. It's always interesting to see where people are visiting from.


You can use basic HTML; be sure to close tags properly.

Subscribe without commenting